I know I haven't blogged in a super long time, and for two reasons:
1. I tend to only focus on the negatives and not enough on the positives.
2. Grad school is BUSY.
Seriously these last two weeks have been incredibly insane. But that's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about how I feel.
And the truth is, I'm happy.
I'm happier than I've been in years. I don't remember the last time I felt this content with the majority of the things in my life. Especially this week.
Yesterday I bared by soul to my class in my personal occupation presentation. It was on writing, and how writing filled this gaping hole where music and performing used to be. It was an exploration and reflection on how writing influenced me and became the forefront and marker of who I am as a person. I even did something crazy. I re-wrote a terrible short story I did as an assignment in high school and gave it to all of my classmates, including my teacher. That was a big step. But the part that made it all worth it? My class loved it. I got nothing but positive feedback from a lot of my classmates, saying that I inspired them to write and that they had never seen me so excited about something and that I in turn excited them. It made me exhausted after that rush of adrenaline, but the positive feedback I got gave me courage when presenting alone, something that I've been afraid to do for years.
And today? Today we reviewed for our kinesiology final. And during that, as we struggled to remember range of motion and nerve innervations and the anatomical structures of the upper body, I began to feel an enormous rush of affection for my class. All of them. Even the ones I don't talk to as much. This was further enforced when, during our break, one of my classmates approached me to tell me how much he loved my presentation and to slip me a CD with the title "Perchance to Dream..." Later in an email, he told me that it was the final mixed version of an album that he's been working on since June, and that only a few people in his closest circle have heard it. I was so touched that he would entrust this to me. I'm currently listening to it now, and it's incredible. It's so hauntingly beautiful. I have so many talented classmates, all with different and awesome interests that they are currently sharing with us during our presentations.
So, current update:
- life is crazy, with tons of assignments and NaNoWriMo looming over the horizon
- I have friends, lots of them, some closer than others. And when I say closer I mean we live around the corner from each other
- I feel such love and affection for all of them
- through these past two weeks I feel like we've bonded through our mutual hardships and that we can confide in each other
- I love my major. If these are the people that I'm going to work with in this profession, then I welcome it
And now I should probably get to studying for my midterm on Thursday. Move them arm bones!
